I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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