it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
