you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
