I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
