margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
