Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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