I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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