If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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