My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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