I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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