Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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