some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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