Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
