Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
