He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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