Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Sober January is a disaster.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
