does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
