Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
