Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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