he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This is the high leading the old right now
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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