can u get pink eye on your cock?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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