If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
