i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
