I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
