I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
