Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
