i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
