Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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