WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
