Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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