you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
