I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
