he wants to bone in the snuggie
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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