If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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