Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
