Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
