I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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