so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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