I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
me + whiskey = a bad person
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
