You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
