what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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