her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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