The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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