Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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