I don't think brook has ever known best
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
