I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
