Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
