So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
