dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
