i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
