We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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