He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
