I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
