she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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