Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My balls are so social today.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize