just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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