Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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