i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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