I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it hurts more in the daytime
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
