is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
