found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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