so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
