I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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