How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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