why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
