Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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